scarlet illusions

Top 5 Weird Habits (tag from fickle kat)

2006-02-15T04:33:00.002+08:00

Top 5 Weird Habits
(From Fickle Kat)

Just list top-5 of your Weird Habits
Pass to 5 friendsLeave a comment or tag on 5 friends informing that you tagged them.

The following are my weird habbits:1. I can cry and laugh at the same time. weird isn't it? 2. dinadala ko ang cellphone ko sa banyo kahit naliligo ako. syempre nilalagay ko sa place na hindi sya mababasa. 3. gusto ko na may katabing tuwalya na basa sa pagtulog tapos naka kumot pa ako. hehehehehehehe!!! 4. ayoko ng cheese!!! i prefer spaghetti na walang cheese at kinikilabutan ako pag sobrang dami ng cheese na kakainin ko. 5. 2 buwan na akong nasa graveyard shift!!!! wala na akong social life!!! gusto ko na matulog ng gabi!!!

i want to tag RAC, Jegai, Alfred, Josh, and JM..

constantine maroullis

2005-11-18T19:31:00.000+08:00

super grabe!!! i screamed at the top of my lungs!!

i was on greenbelt park yesterday together with my officemate, digna, to watch constantine's mini-concert. day off ko kahapon, niyaya ako ng officemate ko, sakto na pupunta talaga kami ng makati ng mommy ko dahil maggrocery kami. nagmeet kami ni digna and we went off to the park. napakadaming tao! di na kami makahanap ng pwesto. paikot-ikot kami hanggang sa mahanap namin ang pwesto na makikita namin si constantine, sa tapat ng white screen kung saan nakaprojector si constantine. o di ba? sobrang lapit na tipong kita ko ang butas ng ilong nya. hahahhahahah!!!

tinext ko ang isang officemate pa na gusto manood, si bec. kaso sabi nya, sa atc na lang daw sya manonood. sabi ko nasa harapan kami nakapwesto. hahhahahah!! sabi nya kunan ko daw si constantine. e di kagandahan ang camera ng cellphone ko, buti na lang nasa tapat kami ng screen. ayun! dun ko kinuhanan ng picture si constantine. heheheeh!!! bukas pagpasok ko, ipapakita ko sa kaiya ang mga pictures, tignan ko lang kung hindi sya maniwala na sa unahan kami nakapwesto.

isang oras din ung mini-concert nya. si jay durias ng south border ang nagpi-piano sa kaniya, siya rin daw ang music director. lahat ng bandmates ay pilipino din, pati ang mga second voice. kumanta sya ng every little she does is magic, this is how you remind me, bohemian rhapsody at marami pang rock na kanta.

kahit paos na kami sa kakakanta at kakasigaw, worth it naman ang pagpunta dun, lalo na at napakagwapo nya. grabe!!! di pa ko kumakain nung pumunta kami dun, nawala ang gutom ko. ulam na ulam si papa constantine, kulang na lang ng kanin at tubig. hahahahhaahha!!

nakakamiss..

2005-11-09T17:52:00.000+08:00

haaay.. ang hirap ng walang social life.. kapag puro trabaho na lang, tapos ung mga kasama mo pa sa trabaho di mo din mayaya lumabas o gumimik dahil pare-parehong pagod at busy, magkakaiba pa ng schedule.

lalo ko pang namiss ang mga dati kong katrabaho sa tridel kapag nababasa ko ang mga blogs nila. actually, si airwind ang may pakana ng mga blog na ito. nakakalungkot na nakakatawang basahin ang mga blogs nila na kasamang nilang gumigimik ang mga bago nilang katrabaho. naalala ko dati nung magkakasama pa kaming nagtatrabaho sa tridel, sabay-sabay kaming nagbablog, hahhahahahah!!!!

nung nagbabalak na ko dating umalis sa tridel, naisip kong mamimiss ko talaga sila. actually, sila din ang dahilan kung bakit ako tumagal dun ng apat na buwan. sabi din ni airwind, ang mahirap sa umaalis, nawawalay ka sa mga naging ka-close mo na. pero pag naisip mo kung ano ung magandang bagay, un ung may makikilala kang bago pero di mo parin nakkalimutan ang mga dati mong kaibigan.

ako man, may mga bago na ring kaibigan. may balak nga akong lumipat ng account. pero pag naiisip ko un, naalala ko ung mga kaibigan kong naging ka-close ko sa account ko ngayon. bagong adjustment na naman, bagong pakikisalamuha, bagong pagkakakilala.

pati mga classmates ko nung college, namimiss ko na. iniisip ko kung saan na sila nagtatrabaho. parang kelan lang, magkakasama kaming nag-aaral pag malapit na mag-exam o di naman kaya, gumagawa ng project pag malapit na deadline.

kahit ung mga taong nakagalit ko dati o ung mga taong sinaktan ako in the past, nakakamiss din. syempre, meron parin namang mga magagandang bagay silang ginawa. at syempre, di rin naman ako magiging ganito kundi din dahil sa kanila. sabi nga nila, you won't be a tough person if you were not put into trials.

people just come and go, but they will leave a mark in your heart, be it good or bad..

depressed..

2005-11-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

there were times that you feel so depressed, stupid, lonely and mad about yourself. i've experienced depression a couple of times. i also once became suicidal. i had a friend who made me a poem, and i want it to share it with you..

EAT ME

i hate to see you regress,

i wasn't there when you ingest

the pilled that called your name,

now you'll never be the same.

and it's sad to see you face

staring out at outer space:

wishing that you would smile again

or just tell me you're in pain.

-we share the same cup o' tea

but we sail different seas,

because i have lost my head;

you don't need to end up dead.

alice needs a helping hand,

i'm no cat in wonderland-

i just hope that you'd soon awake

from this nightmare or you'll break.

it's sad to blame it on fate-

i'm mad 'cause it's seems too late

to save ourselves from dreams,

ask salvation, -be redeemed.

but maybe we'll run into rabbit someday

and maybe you will not lose your head today.

just remember you were given a choice,

"Eat ME" was written; read aloud by your voice.

when i was in that state, i wrote poems or drew to vent out what i feel. my friends thought i was going to break down. good thing, i'm still alive. i want to share this poem i made,

SWEET BITTERNESS

Treasure a moment of my existence

For you might not have again my presence.

Keep alesson from my experience

For it might answer questions of your innocence.

I might not know everything

But i guess i have more than nothing.

If you think I'm not inspiring,

Then better tie me a rope and let me hanging...

sometimes, we don't know why we feel so bad, and thinks it's almost the end of our life. little did we know, there's something in store for us if only we keep our faith and will to move on. some people don't understand why there are people like me who experience depression. kala nila umaarte lang kami or nagpapapansin. ang hindi nila alam, we are trying to get out of the darkness that is wrapping around us. basta, di ko maexplain kung ano feeling. pero sana, kung may kilala kayong depressed, palawakin nyo pa ang pag-intindi.

funny pics to laugh at

2005-10-26T20:04:00.000+08:00

hope i can make you laugh. just want to share this pictures.. (some pictures came from my email, some i got from people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/)

stalk talk

2005-10-15T00:40:00.000+08:00

have you experienced stalking or being stalked? which do you prefer. stalking or being stalked?

i know someone, stalking me. he always pass by my cubicle, smiles and says hi. laging nagfoforward ng text messages or nagmimisscall. one day, he sat beside me and waited until my call ended. i asked him why, he said he wanted to invite me for a date. "what?!?! seryoso ka ba?". i laughed. he said he was serious. i told him i don't have time. and i wanted to rest on my day-off. ang alam ko may gf sya, he said she was in other country. the next day, he passed by my workstation, then he handed me a chocolate. i smiled. he sent me an email message, asking if i liked the chocolate. i said, yes. i love chocolates. my teammate approached me and knew that this guy invited me out, malungkot daw ung guy kasi ni-reject ko daw. i wanted him to be my friend, pero naiilang ako whenever he approaches me, parang kakaiba.

i know someone, i stalked. i knew him from "myspace". me and airwind were browsing "myspace" until we saw his picture! my god! he looks like ryan agoncillo. gusto ko sana ipost dito ung picture nya kaso baka mapahamak ako. i saved his picture to my computer when i was still working with tridel. i told my officemates that he was my bf. heheheheh!!! i even invited him over my friendster. i also got his ym id and added him to my ym. after 3 months, i saw him online. i sent him a message to say hi. our conversation went on. he told me. crush nya ako. sabi ko, crush ko din sya. pero ang alam ko bisexual sya, or siguro gay. i told him about saving his picture in my office, he laughed. twice pa lang kami nagchat. sana makachat ko pa ulit sya.. heheheheh!!! ilusyunada ang lola mo!

i know someone, i am stalking. he has a gf. i text him, pero minsan lang sya magreply. minsan, sya din naman ang nagtetext. i was warned by my friend not to be overacting as if i look like stalking. but i really like this guy and i know he loves his girl. shocks! ang hirap magstalk, lalo na kilala mo.

stalking is normal. everybody has their stories about stalking dahil lahat tayo may pakiramdam. we stalk in our own little way. walang masama kung humanga ka, o head over heals ka sa isang tao. minsan nakakainis, minsan nakakatuwa, minsan nakakatakot, minsan exciting, minsan mysterious. e ikaw, ano story mo?

PATOK daw!!!

2005-09-27T19:17:00.000+08:00

nasubukan nyo na ba sumakay dun sa jeep na tinatawag nilang "PATOK"? nakakaasar!!!

minsan nagmamadali ako pumasok, ung byaheng stop ang shop or divisoria ang sinasakyan ko pagpasok sa cubao. wala akong chocie kung un ang masakyan ko. feeling ko nakasakay ako sa roller coaster! sa tingin ko nung una, bangag ung driver. bigla na lang lumiliko ung jeep at di na kayo magkarinigan pag nagbabayad sa sobrang lakas ng pinapatugtog nila. kung amy sakit ka sa puso, tiyak aatakihin ka. sabi pa ng driver nung bumaba ung isang pasahero, "thank you for riding the space ship!" sabay tawa ng kumag. may matanda pang nakasakay nun, di ko na maintindihan kung ano nararamdaman ni lola sa pagsakay sa jeep na un. pero pare-pareho kami wala magawa kasi nakapagbayad na ng pamasahe.

pero kung maaga pa naman ako, namimili talaga ako ng sasakyan. tinatanong ko ung katrabaho ko bakit ganun ung mga jeep, tsaka ko nalaman na patok ang tawag dun. ano bang napapala nila dun? wish ko lang hulihin sila ng mga traffic enforcer dahil nakakatakot ang ginagawa nila.

lalo na nung isang beses, nakasabit pa naman ung katrabaho ko, biglang nagpagewang-gewang ung jeep. un ung una kong sakay sa patok na jeep. kala ko nung una, may sira ung jeep. kinabahan talaga ako. tapos nung inulit ng driver, nagtaka na ko. kala ko addict ung driver. hanggang sa nung pangatlong ulit, sumigaw na ako. sabi ko, "ANO BA?!? GUSTO KO PA MABUHAY! WAG KA MANDAMAY! MAY PASOK PA KAMI BUKAS!" nahiya na siguro ung driver kaya tinigil nya. pero parang nananadya talaga, inulit pa! pinaharurot nya ung jeep, tapos ang lakas pa ng pinapatugtog nya. pagbaba namin ng jeep, sabi ko dun sa driver, "GAGO KA! MAAKSIDENTE KA SANA!" ang sama ng sinabi ko, pero nakakasar talaga sya. di na nakakatuwa ung ginagawa nila.

well, so far, buhay pa naman ako at di pa naman nahoholdap. sana ipagbawal na ang mga ganitong jeep dahil nakakaperwisyo naman talaga. un lang.

arf! arf! arf!

2005-09-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

i am deciding to buy a dog this coming september 30. nagca-canvass pa lang ako.. hanggang 3500 nga lang ang budget ko, kasi gusto ko lang naman mag-alaga. tulungan nyo naman ako magdecide.. eto ang mga pinagpipilian ko: labrador, japanese spitz, mini pinscher, daschund, dalmatian, golden retriever.

give me some comments and kung may alam din kayong mabibilhan. namimiss ko na mag-alaga ng aso. sa pagcacanvass ko, eto ang mga asong kakayanin ng budget ko. heheheheh!! sawa na ako sa askal, kaya kailangan may breed naman.

LOVE HURTS..

2005-09-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

why do we have to hold on if we know we are hurting?

Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

I’m young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it’s hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They’re not foolin’ me

I know it isn’t true,
I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
Ooh,ooh love hurts

have you been in a situation wherein, though you know it will hurt you, you'll still hold on to?

i was with my friend last night. she broke up with her boyfriend. it was her first. her boyfriend is kinda "lost" according to her. for a long time, it was their set-up. but she held on to their relationship because she really loves him and she doesn't want to lose the relationship, she did everything. but she realized it's enough. though she broke up with him, she still loves the guy and i know it's hurting her.

i know a girl, his boyfriend broke up with her. it wasn't easy for her because they still see each other, they are not dating but because they have work to do. the guy broke up with her because he doesn't have time anymore for his girlfriend. they've been together four 4years. it hurts the girl to see the guy treating her like nothing had happened between them. so casual. she still oves the guy and i know it's hurting her.

i know a guy, who loves this girl for a long time. he would even change his religion just for the girl. but this girl loves somebody else. he told this girl about his feelings, but the girl said it was just friendship. up to now, this guy loves the girl and i know it's hurting him.

i know a girl who loves her bestfriend, her bestfriend chose to be just a bestfriend to her. her bestfriend has a girlfriend now. the girl still loves her bestfriend and i know it's hurting her.

i know a guy who loves this girl and is willing to fight for her. just so happened that this girl cannot fight for him. the girl chose her family over this guy. the guy can't do anything but to still love her and i know it's hurting him.

i know a girl who really loves this guy and the guy loves him too. people don't want the two of them together. they said they weren't for each other. they think it would only hurt them if they keep on loving each other.

why do we have to love and end up hurting? hmm....

happy birthday airwind!

2005-09-14T13:34:00.000+08:00

mukha ng birthday corner ang blog ko,pero ayos lang. para to sa mga friends ko..

AIRWIND'S TALENT

eto ang mga entry ni airwind sa deviantart. noong nasa tridel pa kami, wala kami ginawa kundi mag-blog, magdeviantart at kung anu-ano pa. ako ang nagintroduce sa kniya ng deviantart. aba! ang kumag, may talent pala! ung unang entry nya ay entitled "pirated". bakit? kasi nainspire sya sa isang work na katulad nito at ginaya nya ung style. puro nipples ata ung artwork na un. pero ung sa kaniya, colorful. it describes his personality. ung pangalawa naman, "the eye". ginawa nya daw to habang nakikipagmeeting sa manager nya. the eye daw un, pero mukhang pusod, hahahahahah!!! pero mapansin nyo na sa mga works nya, malalaman mong napakajolly person nya. kaya siguro kami naging magkaibigan. pucha! pag kasama ko yan, napapatahimik ako kahit na alam kong madaldal ako. wala akong binatbat sa kaniya! sabi nga ni evie, officemate namin, parang nakalunok ng megaphone tong si airwind.

pangalawang entry ko na to na dedicated sa kaniya. grabe! super special na tong tao na to para mabanggit sa entry ko! dapat ilibre nya ko lalo't sweldo na bukas!

well, para sa kaarawan mo ngayon, eto ang gift ko sayo.. sensya na ha, kinagatan ko na e.. haha!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIRWIND!!!

thank you for calling

2005-09-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

eto na ang mga bago kong kasama sa araw-araw! syempre, dapat nasa gitna ako.

malayo man sa course na tinapos ko at sa lisensyang pinaghirapan ko, Mechanical Engineering, nag-eenjoy naman ako sa trabaho ko ngayon. nakakapagod nga lang magtanggap ng tawag galing sa mga 'kano at tulungan sila sa prblema nila sa internet. merong mga mababait at syempre di mawawala ang mga tinatawag na "sup calls" or "may i talk to your supervisor?" n drama. meron ding mga racists, pag nalaman na pilipino ka, ayaw ka na nila kausap. meron din namang natututwa na ang mga pilipino daw marunong pala mag-english.

may lang calls na ako na, tinatanong ko po lang, sir/ma'am, cn i please get your name? sabi ba naman sakin, "i can't understand you! can i talk to your supervisor?" pucha! un palang sinasabi ko, di na ko maintindihan?!?!?! nung nakausap na nya supervisor ko, sabi nya, di daw ako marunong mag-english!!! gosh!!! ilang words pa lang nasbi ko, di daw ako marunong mag-english! nainsulto talaga ako dun.

meron pang isa, tinatanong ko ung address nila, sabi nya, nafufrustrate daw sya kasi di nya daw maintindihan sinasabi ko. tinanong nya kung taga-saan ako, sabi ko philippines, ayaw na nya ako kausapin. "shut up!", sabi nya. "i need your supervisor!" huwaaatt??!?

pero meron din namang mababait, may isng nagtanong sakin, where are you from? sabi ko, i'm from philippines. sabi nya, "oh i thought you're from texas! how did you learn english?" sabi ko, "we are taught english since 5 yrs old or preschool. this is our second language here." sabi nya, "really?! you amazed me!"

dahil sa gusto ko malaman kung ano ba talaga ang boses ko sa pandinig ng mga amerikano, di ko napigilan magtanong kanina sa customer, "ma'am, i would like to ask something, i'm just curious. is my english really hard to understand? 'cause i'm getting some calls and they are saying that they can't understand me." sbi nya, "no, you actually have the accent. and you speak english very well." sabi ko, "how did you know i came from other country?" sabi nya, "it seems like my call was routed to other country 'cause it took a long time until somebody answered my call." sabi ko, "no ma'am, we actually have a queue right now, 32 callers waiting on line and one of them was you." sabi nya, "oh, i didn't realize that. but don't worry i do understand you. here is the thing, there are only a few of americans who are mad when they knew that they aare talking to filipinos. they think that filipinos are stealing the job that should be for americans. and some are more frustrated if they hear a different accent 'cause they can't understand. if you'll have calls like them, don't mind them. they just don't appreciate the help that you are offering. it's not your loss, but them."

natouched talaga ako s sinabi nya. super rapport na nga kami. alam ko, kung na-QA ako nun, malamang, nading na ako. sinabi ko sa kaniya, "ma'am i am really grateful for having callers like you who appreciate help from filipinos like me. and i feel so sorry bout those americans who discourage us to talk and help them with their concerns. we don't want to leave that impression as stealers, but as people who would like to serve people even if not from our country." hanggang s nagkakwentuhan na kami. sabi ko si maraming mga sikat na pilipino ang nasa US. si apl ng blackeyed peas, di daw nya alam na pilipino un. sbi ko maraming magagaling na pilipino ang nasa US. at natuw naman sya sa mga kwento ko. buti na lang resolved ung issue nya, kundi mapapahiya ako kung di ko nasolve ung problem nya sa internet.

feeling ko mahaba na tong entry ko. sana natapos nyo tong basahin.. bukas, calls ulit.

hapi bertday laryuki

2005-09-05T17:49:00.000+08:00

happy birthday sa kaibigan kong si laryuki! kahit na alam kong hindi ako ililibre ng kumag na to, special mention parin sya sa blog ko. at ngayong entry ko, kahit may iba pa sana ako gustong ikwento, napili kong ikwento ko na lamang sya sa inyo. hehehehehhe!!!

nakilala ko si laryuki, february 1, 2005. ito kasi ung first day ko sa tridel. kung saan naging magkakaibigan kami nila laryuki at airwind. at iba pa. kami ang actually mga pasaway sa opisina. kami lagi ang napapagalitan. unang impression ko kay laryuki, kala ko single pa sya. don't get me wrong, di ko type si laryuki nung una ko sya nakita. nagtataka kasi ako kung bakit lagi sila magkasama nung isa pa naming katrabaho na si jel. kala ko kasi magboyfriend sila, e bawal daw sa opis ang magjowa lalo na ung magkadepartment. un pala, may asawa na tong kumag na to. sila lang pala ni jel ang magkasama sa team nila. magkaiba kami ni laryuki ng team sa sales department. iba din ang team ni airwind, pero lahat kami ay mga taga-benta. hehehehe!!! so, nung unang araw ko, bored na ko, ilang oras ang nakalipas bago pa nila ako pinansin. tinatakot pa ko ni laryuki. pero oks lang. hanggang sa naging magkaibigan kami at naging magkasama na sa isang team.

lagi kami magkakasama sa kalokohan. ako ang laging late sa opis, sya naman ang laging lasing kung pumasok. o kung di man sya pmasok, alam na agad ng manager namin kung ano nangyari sa kaniya. at eto pa, dahil area sales kami, dapat lumalabas kami ng opis para makipagmeet sa mga taong bebentahan namin. si laryuki ay aalis at magpapaalam na kunyari ay may meeting or appointment sa client, ang totoo, makikipagdate lang yan or makikipaglandian. hahahahaha!!!

siya din ang pondo ng yosi sa opisina. kahit wala na syang pera, basta may yosi sya, masaya na yan. hahahaha!!! kahit puro mura at kabastusan ang lumalabas sa bibig nya, may deep side din naman tong taong to. kaya rin nya magseryoso lalo na kung hilingin mo. nung una, di ko akalain na pwede ko syang sabihan ng mga problema ko. pero nung sinubukan ko sya kausapin tungkol sa mga bagay sa buhay ko, nakinig naman sya at nag-advise. di mo aakalain na ang isang taong maloko na ktulad nya, kaya rin maging seryoso.

at kahit masayahing tao si laryuki, di nya ipapakita sa yo na may problema sya. pag di na nya kaya, lalapit sya sa yo at magkkwento. nung dating may problema sya, bigla syang lumapit at nagkwento. naappreciate ko talaga ung paglapit nya. lahit kami ng barkada nag-alala sa kaniya nung minsan di sya pumasok. tinext namin sya at nakipagkita sa megamall. ang dami namin nun. si airwind, evie, aldous, jel at ako. naglolokohan pa kami na baka magpakamatay na si laryuki. hehehehe. ewan ko lang kung naappreciate nya ung effort namin na i-comfort sya.

nung umalis ako sa tridel, sabi nya mamimiss nya ko kasi ako lagi ang may pagkain sa opis, at lagi sila pumupunta sa table ko para tanungin ako kung ano ang pagkain ko. hehehehe!!! ung dinrowing ko habang nalalapit ang last day ko, ibinigay ko sa kaniya. hanggang ngayon, nakasabit sa cubicle nya. at lagi ako tumatawag sa local nya at nakikipagchismisan.

masaya ako na naging kaibigan ko tong taong to. no dull moments. nakakamiss ang mga days na magkakasama kami sa opis. una, ako ang umalis. sumunod si airwind. siya na lang ang pasaway sa opisina. hehehehe!!! nakakamiss ang mga umagang sabay kaming nagbbreakfast kahit 9am na at pinapagalitan kami dahil dapat ay nagtatrabaho na kami. at amga yosi breaks na wala sa oras. hahahahah!!! at ang mga araw na di kami nagtatrabaho, nagbblog lang (kaya na-block ang blogspot sa opis). dating blogspot yan si laryuki. dahil walang blogspot sa trabaho, lumipat sya ng blogdrive. kunyari ay nagse-sales call kami, ang totoo nagdadaldalan lang kami sa mga local namin. kulang na lang isuka kami ng tridel s sobrang pasaway namin.

well anyways, pag-iisipan ko pa kung anong magandang gift ko para sa kaniya. idadaan ko na lang sa opis nila sa wednesday kung ano man ang mabili ko.

happy birthday laryuki!!! mwaahh!!

tell me where it hurts

2005-08-24T14:52:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: senti ako ngayon kaya pagpasensyahan na ang entry ko ngayon..

ang daming nangyari sa buhay ko simula nung di na ako nakakapagblog. did you feel once in your life na sobrang down na kayo? ung kahit tumatawa ka na, nararamdaman mo parin ung pain? no one knows how this pain is killing me. tinatry ko maging masaya but when evrybody's gone, you feel very lonely. i had been through almost everything. i sacrificed even my own happiness for others sake. naiinggit ako sa ibang tao na nakukuha nila lahat ng gusto nila sa buhay. pera, masayang pamilya, magandang trabaho at minamahal. kala ko sa pelikula lang nangyayari ung pagiging "miserable". di pala. naalala ko tuloy ung dating text na finorward sakin, which one would you chose, meeting someone whom you'll love then lose him or not meeting him at all? i tried the best i can to keep it, but i don't know if it was really meant to be or if it's just not this time. pasensya na, wala talaga akong mapaglabasan ng sama ng loob at hinanakit this time. napag-initan ko lang tong blog ko. haaay....

through the years..

2005-08-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

tag-tag-an na! this came from airwind

twenty years ago.. i'm two years old then, my brother came to this world. umiinom ng am pag walang gatas. heheheheh!!!

fifteen years ago.. grade two na ako. tama ka airwind , un ata nung lumindol. umiiyak ako nun, kasi lahat ng classmate ko nakalabas na ng room, ako nageempake pa ng gamit. hinahanap ko pa ang mga lapis ko at nilalagay sa pencil case. ayaw kasi ng mommy ko na nawawala ang mga lapis at pambura ko. inaasikaso ko pa ang gamit ko habang lumilindol!!! di ko naman alam kung ano ung lindol at kung nakakamatay ba un.

ten years ago.. i just graduated from elementary. gustong gusto ko na magkaroon ng menstruation nun kasi halos lahat ng barkada ko nagkaroon na. gusto ko na rin maging dalaga! heheheheh!!! nagexam din ako sa manila science high school. pumasa ako nung first screening pero naeliminate sa second screening kaya sa public school dito malapit sa bahay ako napunta.

three years ago.. fourth year college. di pa graduating kasi 5years ang course ko. eto ung year na nakilala ko ang bf ko na ngayon ay xbf na. eto ung year na lagi ako nanonood ng sine kasama ang movie buddy ko every other day. wala lang. trip lang.

yesterday.. nabasa ko ang tag na to at pinapagawa ako ni airwind ng ganito. heheheheheh!!! kahapon din ako nagkaroon ng maraming calls sa trabaho. nanood ng big brother at kinaiinisan ko si say! ang arte sobra! at si chix! feeling maganda!

today.. ginagawa ko tong tag na to. nakapagsalita ako ng tagalog word while on call. badtrip! nagkaroon ako ng sup call pero luckily, na de-escalate ko.

tomorrow.. day off ko. yehey! pwede na ako matulog hanggang 11am or even 12pm! magliliwaliw sa internet at magbablog ulit.

next year .. malamang nasa sykes pa rin. sana nakaipon na ng pera. at sana may bf na uli. ehehheheh!!!

five-ten years from now.. sana pinapractice ko na ang profession ko. sana nasa ibang bansa din ako nagwowork and financially stable. sana may car na din ako by that time. ambitious di ba?

e ikaw? tag-tag-an na!!!!

hello people!!!

2005-08-22T04:23:00.000+08:00

NOW I'M BACK!!! it's been a long time since i posted. my pc is now ok. my friend just reinstalled the OS yesterday. thanks to him.

well, i got many stories to tell. it's been a month, i had been very silent. hehehehhehe!!! i've been working for over a month now in the call center. (wala pa rin akong nalilibre!!) it's because of the crisis! (palusot..) but anyway, my training has just finished last friday. i'll start my "real" work now. my shift is 7am. but i've to be on the floor by 6am 'cause i have to set-up my cubicle and pedestal. excited na ko! i'm sure i'll miss my co-trainees. they rock! we have different breaks, lunchbreak, shifts and day-offs now.

lst wednesday, i went to my previous work and saw my friends. laryuki, evie, jamie, ms fifi, aldous, chester, mico and others. i miss erwin. hoy patatas! magparamdam ka naman.. i miss these people to work with. but i know there will always be what you call moving on for you to improve not only careerwise but also financialwise.

i'll post my stories later when i get home.. miss you all!!! keep on bloggin'!!!

i've got a virus!

2005-07-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

sheeesh!!! i've got a virus! it's a wormblast i guess..

i was trying to research for the license name and license code of a game i want to play last monday. when i clicked on the downloadable thing that says it will give me the thing i was looking for, it then downloaded. then nothing was there. then suddenly, a window appeared telling me that the system has a virus! omigosh! i don't know what to do. we didn't have an anti-virus software available. i asked of relatives and friends but none of them has. i was trying to download an anti-virus software but everytime i was trying to connect to the internet, it disconnects for the first time of connection and when i am connected, the computer suddenly restarts after a couple of minutes. gosh!!!!

i called my friend, nandy, to ask what i should do. he said i should reformat the pc 'cause the virus is already on the system. i haven't reformatted it yet 'cause i don't have another hard drive to put back-up files on.

i'm afraid that anytime, the pc would just crash. oh no!!! =0(

funny kiddies

2005-07-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

nakakatuwa talaga ang mga bata. ang mga sinasabi at ginagawa nila, kahit di sinasadyang magpatawa, nakakatawa.

ung pinsan kong 4 yrs old nagmamayabang sakin. binilhan daw sya ng papa nya ng "rain goat". hahahhaha!!! ano? rain goat? umuulan ng kambing? rain coat pala ang ibig nya sabihin. paguwi nya galing school dumaan sya dito sa bahay at pinakita nya sakin ung kaniyang "bunchbox" daw. anong bunchbox? hahahahha!!! lunchbox!!! ung pinsan kong un, kamukha ni tolits, ung nasa tide commercial. lagi nga nya ginagaya ung "lagi na lang ako, ako, ako.." kahapon, humingi sya sakin ng C2, at tinungga. e, medyo manguso ang batang to. sabi nya sakin, "ate ayoko na nito, pumapasok ung bibig ko e". hahahhaha!!! sabi ko, "ang tulis kasi ng nguso mo e, sige ilalagay ko sa baso para mainom mo ng maayos". sa school nga daw nila kilalang-kilala na sya. di na nga daw nya kailangan mag-name plate.

naalala ko tuloy yung kinuwento ni airwind sakin tungkol sa pinsan nyang 3 o 4 yrs old. pinapakain daw ung bata, di na daw nya kayang ubusin ang pagkain. sabi ng nagpapakain sa kaniya, dapat ubusn nya ang pagkain nya dahil marami daw bata ang nagugutom. sabi daw ng bata, "bakit? pag kinain ko ba yan, mabubusog ba sila?" hahahhahaha!!! maktwiran nga naman! kinuwento rin nya sakin ung kapatid ng barkada nya. 3 yrs old din siguro. nawala daw ung bata sa mall kasama ang ate nya. nagpunta ung bata sa guard at sinabing "mama, nawawala po ang ate ko!" ate pa nya ang nawala! ibang klase!

kahit ang kapatid ko, 8yrs old, nakakatuwa din. sabi kasi ng mommy ko, pag matutulog dapat daw tanggalin ang bra (censored!), e ayoko kasi di ako komportable. sabi ng kapatid ko, tignan mo ako ate, matutulog na kasi ako kaya wala akong bra! hahahhaha!!! ang tawa talaga namin ng mommy ko sa kaniya. at nung minsan pagdating ko sa bahay, parang naligo ng arina ang kapatid ko. nilagyan nya kasi ng baby powder ang buong katawan nya pati mukha. dark ang skin tone ng kapatid ko at lagi namin sya inaasar na maitim. kaya daw sya nag-powder para daw pag nakita namin sya di na daw namin sya tutuksuhin na maitim.

ako kaya nung bata ako, nakakatuwa din kaya ako? hahahhahah!!! may nakita akong picture nung bata ako na maputi ang mukha sa powder at may makapal na lipstick na lumalagpas na sa labi at naka-shades pa! ang bata nga naman..

being "friendly" in a not-friendly-way

2005-07-02T16:42:00.000+08:00

these are some "indecent" and "unfriendly" invitations from my friendster account..

From: khelly ice
Subject: hi
Message: hello can i have ur no. b? asl pls? can we meet?

----eeeew!!! pervert 'to malamang..----

From: mike
Subject: hi
Message:
I'm Mike and I often visit Manila so hopefully we can meet and get to know each other, english living in australia 6 ft tall,blond, blue eyes, 79 kilos, fit. I love life and will try absolutely anything at least once. I have a great sense of humour and love to make people happy and laugh. I ride a huge shire horse - I took it up in Dec 2000 . So I'm adventurous. Ilove to sail and cruise - I have my own boat and look at it as a mobile weekender.I used to live by the water but I have just moved to the city to inbibe Sydney's culture for a year or so.I enjoy exploring the untravelled windy country roads withthe top down in my car.I am an avid reader. I have an extensive knowledge of the world and life in general, having visited over 50 countries and lived in 5. I like to teach and mentor people.I love to cook - in my last relationship I did allthe cooking, I don't like to do dishes. Walking, gardening, travel, discussion, listening, plays etc.This is my first internet adventure . I'm very sensitive, loving, compassionate and enjoy charity work -willing to learn new things(with the right teacher) and ready for most of what the world willa nd has sent me - , a lover of the real things inlife. I lived in England,Canada, France, USA and now Australia ( this is easily the best place on earth)so I can talk to you in french or with an american accent during those special moments. I am a passionate romantic and love to spoil and be spoilt. I love to hold hands, cuddle, massage and be massaged,kiss, spontaneously. I love helping the disadvantaged and abhore discrimination of any type.Hope to hear from you soon

----gosh, ano to?bio-data?tangna!di naman ako nagpost ng advertisement sa friendster na, "wanted:boyfriend" and take note, this man is 52 yrs. old! mas matanda pa sa nanay ko----

From: edgardo
Subject: hi
Message:
hi, ang ganda mo maari ba kita maging friend?dito sa net?kung payagan mo pa apply ako na isa sa mga suitor mo pero layo lang?ok lang ?tapos na aral?ano kors?san ka nagwork?

----napakabilis di ba? and ang daming tanong? parang question and answer portion sa isang beaty contest. daig pa nag panel interview para sa trabaho di ba?----

From: Pitch
Subject: hello
Message: can i be ur friend!!! u have cell number can i get!!

----at bakit ko naman pagaaksayahan ng load ang taong di ko kilala at peke pa ang picture nya sa friendster. syempre may tinatago, kaya hindi nya mukha ang nasa friendster account nya.---

sabi nga ni laryuki, pervert magnet daw ako. ngek!!! dami ko kasing close encounters sa mga di kanais-nais na nilalang. but i do am flattered to their invitations 'cause it only means na napapansin din pala ako. anyways, sana nga lang maganda ung introduction and ung nilalaman ng invitation nila.

i'm on SYKES

2005-07-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

at long last, i got a new job! i signed a contract with sykes, a call center, based on gilmore, cubao last wednesday. so what am i, an engineer, doing at sykes? i thought of this a couple of times. i wanted to practice my license 'cause i spent 5 1/2 years to finish a degree in mechanical engineering, though this was not my first choice. and i spent 4 months to review for the licensure examination. it took three days for the examination and only 42% passed. earning the dgree and license in mechanical engineering was not that easy. taking the job as a technical support representative was not an easy decision for me. i have a sister to support her education, my brother already left the house and my parents don't have jobs either. the pressure is on me. i need a job. if i'll choose to pursue my M.E. then, i might be waiting for a long time to have that job and if i'm lucky to have one, the salary offer is not that much. so i swallowed my pride and accepted the job that sykes offered. the salary is good and the benefits as well. i thought that i could save money while i'm on a call center. then if i wanted to shift career and pursue ME and if there's a good offer, i might as well transfer. haay.. it's really a tough decision to choose between career and financial issues.

series of miseries

2005-06-23T19:21:00.000+08:00

i am so sick today.. i've got colds, cough and fever. why? it's because yesterday, i went to my sister's school to fetch her. i went to my uncle to borrow his scooter so i won't walk. but when i was on my way to the school, the rain poured. it was like a pail of water poured into me. i was not able to find for a shed so i rushed so i won't look like taking a bath. and when i finally got to my sister's school, we can't go home 'cause my sister is sick, i can't rush her through the rain. so we waited until the rain stopped. my father went to the school riding the tricycle. i didn't go with them since i had the scooter. and so i when i was about to start the scooter, it won't start. i checked the fuel tank but it was half-full. i wondered why it won't start. i checked the spark plug, it was connected. but the motor just won't start. i figured it maybe that the motor was cooled when it rained. so i walked home with the scooter. darn! i felt my temperature rising. when i got home, i took a bath. but when i was about to sleep, i didn't feel well. this morning when i woke up, i had fever, cough and colds. shocks! i hate taking up medicines. well, i wish i would be better tomorrow..

ma-art-e ako

2005-06-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

i love art. if only i have the chance, i'll study fine arts. my mother disappointed me to get that course 'cause she works in an art gallery and she knows how an artist life goes if he/she does not succeed. and she said there's no money in arts unless you have a name in the industry. so, my frustrations are kept into my album, computer and deviantart. but in fairness to my mom, she appreciates all my works and framed some of it.

when i was in college, i planned to take fine arts after finishing mechanical engineering. but then, i took the licensure exam and so now i have to find a job. i don't know if i will still tke fine arts but my passion is into arts. not only do i draw, but i also act when i was in high school. i was a member of a theater organization here in taguig, (Kamalayan ng Pilipino sa Teatro or KAMPI sa TEATRO). i played a fairy in "Pasko ng mga Manyika" and an old maid in "Kasalan sa Likod ng Simbahan". but when i got into college, i couldn't commit myself into stage plays anymore because i lived in quezon city since UP is far from taguig. i wanted to join a theater organization in UP but they said rehearsals are held during night so my parents did not permit me. fyi, my mom was a stage actress too from PETA way way back. hehehehe..

i still love art but i am not having time for it now. wish i could rewind the time to experience my art life.

scarletbeads on airwind (a tale of friendship)

2005-06-17T17:55:00.000+08:00

"hey! hey!
baby got your money, don't you worry
hey! hey!" - leroy wells (american idol applicant)

erwin and i used to sing this chant whenever we are in the mood to get wild and funny!

erwin is my officemate in my first work experience. we worked assales agents but we have different departments. i was from the area sales and he was from telesales department. though our desks were far from each other, we have so many fun and weird stories together in and out of the office. he is actually the reason why i have a blog. he introduced this blog-thing to me on the very first day that we met.

during my product training, i met him. he was employed a week before me. he came near me and shelly (my co-applicant but she did not pursue to get the job) because he saw shelly reading a book. from that day i knew, he is a bookworm. and so he started talking about the books he read and the books he plans to read. he is a talker. since i was very sleepy that day, i was pretty annoyed with him hearing his voice throughout the room. my first impression of him is a scene-stealer. the training was a whole day activity so i had to force myself to be patient and be nice with him. when the training became very boring, erwin borrowed shelly's palmtop. he played text twist. he showed me how to play the game and asked me to join him. we had a fun game while the training is ongoing. when i started working, i looked for him because he is the only person i knew. my impression of him changed. he is fun to be with and you'll not get bored when you are with him. he has lots of stories and he has a great sense of humor. i then knew that he is also a listener. he lends an ear whenever i have problems or when i have something in mind to talk to. he is like my brother in the office.

i resigned 15 days earlier than he did. half of me wanted to stay at my work for the reason that i'll be missing my friends including him. then he called me up and asked me if i wanted to go with him to apply. and so we applied at client logic, a call center. it is just beside the building where we worked. we both passed the initial interview and proceeded to the phone simulation, exam and hr final interview. we are both endorsed as technical service representatives since we worked from an i.t. company. we were interviewed by the operations manager. funny that, after the interview, we went to mall and started imagining ourselves working for that call center. we laughed that we won't have to wear office clothes anymore. we love wearing jeans and sneakers. we went to see new styles of blouse/shirt and sneakers and other stuffs that we are excitedly wanting to buy when we start working there. but when the time came that erwin told me that he was called by the hr and told him that he passed the interview and i did not,things changed. i cried out of desperation, as i may say. i got jealous of him getting the opportunity while i, needing to have a job, have to again apply at other companies. we had a little argument when he told me i don't have to cry and be bitter of not passing the qualifications while i told him that he's only saying those words because he passed. i don't talk to him for three days now. i'm not mad at him nor am pissed off. i was disappointed that i wouldn't be working with him anymore. i actually miss this guy. and i would miss him more if i talk to him and think that we're not together working for client logic. larry, our friend, wants us to talk about our misunderstanding. erwin doesn't call me 'cause he thinks i'm mad at him, larry said.

i applied at sykes. i was interviewed by the accounts manager at gilmore, cubao. luckily, i passed but i underwent again a client interview. if i pass that interview, they'll be hiring me as a technical support representative. i'm still waiting for the result. client logic promised to call me this week for another interview for another position but is still not calling me up to this day.i would want to work at client logic because of erwin. but i heard from larry, he has new friends now from that company. maybe, he is having good time with them.

hey bro, ifever you are reading this, i am not mad at you and i am really sorry for acting terribly the other night. my bubbles just bursted that i won't be working with you anymore. maybe, it is just time that we really have to part our ways now for you to meet other people. i'm sorry for the childish acts and for the words i've said that hurt you. i didn't mean to be harsh. i miss you bro. congrats and good luck to your new job. i am still your friend and i hope to see you soon.

jobh(a)unting

2005-06-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

i had been applying to different companies, different positions, different places. now i'm lost. don't know where to go. i cried last night out of frustration when i knew i failed the final interview of client logic for technical support representative. erwin got the position. i was terribly in pain and got jealous with him because like him, i did my best to pass the qualifications. the HR personnel said that i am endorsed to a non-technical position. they will be calling me this week for another schedule of interview for the said position. today, i had been to sykes for an interview with the accounts manager in gilmore, cubao, 1pm. i waited for 2 1/2 hours. it turned out that the manager didn't know that there was a schedule for interview. while i was waiting for him, one employee named louie, came near me and asked who i'm waiting and why. i told him the reason why i'm there then he left. more minutes passed by, he came again and asked me if i already had lunch. i said yes. then he invited me to join their lunch and have snack. so i followed him to the pantry. while i buy my snack, he went to his office mates. oh, i forgot to tell you, his quite cute. anyway, i have to seat on the other table because he was with his officemates. then he left. i went to the place where i have to wait for the manager. then by 3:30pm, the manager came and interviewed me. after the interview, he said i'll have a client call anyday this week by 7am. if i pass, then i'll have the job. up to now, i'm still depressed that i didn't pass the client logic. and because of that, i don't expect that sykes will hire me. i am truly frustrated of not having a job right now. i am a UP graduate of engineering and i already have my license in mechanical engineering, but still i'm unemployed. haaay....

don't drink and drive

2005-06-10T19:22:00.000+08:00

last tuesday, june 7, 2005, on my way home with a friend, i saw an old man on his bike rushing the road when the traffic officer cut him. he didn't notice the traffic officer then a motorbike whooshed on his way. the old man was thrown with his head smashed on to the road and his bicycle was broken into half. with my friend, we ran to the old man and helped him up. i saw blood dripping from his head. the old man was drunk. the motorbike ran away. it's so sad i didn't take the plate number. there were a lot of people who saw the accident but none wants to help the old man. he almost cry of pain. he called the traffic officer and scolded her of cutting his way and not arresting the man on the motorbike. i asked the old man where he lives so we can take him home. but since his drunk, i cannot understand what he is saying. the old man asked us to pull his arm, i saw his shoulder bone dislocated from being attached to the arm bone. (sorry, i dont know what they are called, but i hope you imagine what i'm trying to tell). i cried when i felt his bones. i couldn't do anything. we couldn't take him to the hospital because we don't have money and my friend will be late on his work. i asked the officer to take the old man home to be treated and for his relatives to know what had happened or to a nearby clinic. then we went home.

i was really disturbed by the old man until now. when i pray before going to sleep, i pray that the old man is fine now and that he doesn't drink anymore. my prayers are the only way i can do to help him. i still feel really sad about what had happened.

10 things i should not forget

2005-06-07T10:16:00.000+08:00

i always remember the ten things my ex-boyfriend told me when we broke up.
1. don't forget to pee before leaving the house and/or office. this is because when we were together, i always ask him of looking for a comfort room when i am about to pee.
2. i should always order iced tea when i eat outside. he used to order one for me instead of softdrinks.
3. take medicine when i am sick. i hate taking medicine and he is mad when i don't take it.
4. pray at night. i remember we are texting each other's prayer just before we sleep. and when we go to church, he takes my hand as we pray.
5. always look at the sky at night. he says i'm his moon and he's my star.
6. do not think of committing suicide. he knows i'm a suicidal maniac when i'm too depressed. he said he's just one text away when i need help.
7. take my meal on time.
8. when there is wind, it's him embracing me.
9. take care of myself.
10. if the time comes that i can be on my own and that i can fight for him, i should tell him for him to help me fight for our relationship to anyone who are not in favor of us.

i miss him now.. i truly miss those times we had fun. also those time we both cry, but we never hurt each other. there are such things that are so unfair and maybe this is not yet our time.

goodbye tridel..

2005-05-27T09:39:00.000+08:00

this is to pay tribute to good happenings, good friends, and good accommodation.. well, it's hard to accept that i have to leave the work i am with for 4months, 4 unproductive months i must say. this is not the way i expect to be leaving. not this soon. i thought they would like to keep me as soon as i get another job related to course and license as they have said before. maybe they said that because i produced for the first month of my stay here.

so this is what happened, i asked my manager if i can leave half-day last wednesday because i have an interview in the afternoon at goodyear. she said i should have not gone to the office. anyway, she permitted me for one consequence, i filed that day as "leave". yesterday, we talked regarding my status here at work, she advised me to file a resignation effective on may31. she said, if i will not do it, she will terminate me. i never expected her to say that to me, i was very disappointed to her that she never had this "concern" that she was always telling me. she talked to the HR Department and decided that i should file the resignation before may31. i told my manager that i want to stay as long as i don't have any job to transfer yet. i can see in her eyes that she doesn't want to keep me that long. i feel like a loser now. we haven't ended our conversation yet. i actually don't know what i should feel now.

pervert!!!

2005-05-21T09:44:00.000+08:00

there's this guy who thought that being a "virgin" has a meaningless life. he said you need to have sex to experience heaven. i believed that he's using it to escape his realm. it goes to my nerves, hearing him telling me that virgins are scared and that we have nothing to be proud of. huh? he said we're all the same. it makes me think that men are naturally whores. sorry for the term guys, but some of you demoralize your majority. what do they think of women, "toys"? i don't want to talk in general, i just don't want guys pushing girls to be deceived on their thinking. a friend told me, and he's a guy, that men think with their other head.

ME Oath Taking Happenings

2005-05-19T17:48:00.000+08:00

we took our oaths as mechanical engineers last monday, may 16, 2005 at the manila hotel. there were a few girls and a bunch of men! i was really excited to take the oath but besides that, i'm also excited for one reason. i'll be meeting my "crush". i met him, he said hi. he smiled. i was shy. he came to me again and said i'm a snob because i didn't recognize him. i said i'm shy. he smiled. then left. his friend invited me to join their company after the oath taking. i refused. i stayed with my friends. me and my friends went to a coffee shop near to where they stayed. how i wish i was there with him. then our friend came. her boyfriend was his friend. then my friend said we'll be going to where his boyfriend and his friends were. we went there but they moved to another place. so, i didn't meet him. then we went to a videoke bar near la salle-taft. we went home by 11pm. oh, i forgot to tell, this guy, has a girlfriend. they are on their sixth month. oh well.. it's so sad. i have to stop having conversations with him. *sigh* i haven't upload the pictures yet on my friendster. i'll post it here once i upload it.

emotive photography contest

2005-05-14T13:18:00.000+08:00

i would like to join this contest, a photography contest where the theme is emotive. i haven't thought of any subject yet. well, the photo should express emotion. it could be of facial expressions or objects that portray human feeling. please give me an idea whta i should submit for my entry. thanks in advance.

power massage

2005-05-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

sunday, may 8, 2005, nagpunta ako sa reyes haircutters para i-try ang power massage na offer nila. sabi kasi ng friend ko, nakakarelax daw ang power massage nila lalo na pag sinundan ng hair spa. mura lang ang power massage nila, 50pesos lang. pagdating ko sa rhs (reyes haircutters salon), binati ako ng mga kabadingan. "good morning ma'am!", sabi ng isa. "ano po ang sa inyo?", sabi ko naman, "power massage po". pagkaupo ko, tinanong pa nya ko kung rebonded daw ang buhok ko kasi maganda daw. bolero talaga mga tao sa parlor para lalo ka mag-enjoy sa services nila at bumalik ka sa kanila para magpabola ulit. e di shinashampoo na ung buhok ko, minassage, sinuklay, at kung anu-ano pa. after 30 minutes, biglang may nagsabi ng, "ay shet! walang tubig!". napalingon ako, kala ko nagbibiruan lang ung mga bading. badtrip, wala ngang tubig. di na maipinta ung mukha ko kasi mejo may kalayuan din ang bahay ko. pero di ako nag-iisa, sa isang sulok nakaupo si lola, nagpa-dye ng buhok. sabi ng isang bading, "lola, uuwi kang itim na itim ang buhok mo." di ko alam kung maiiyak si lola sa sinabi nung bading. sabi naman sakin, "ganda, uwi ka na na bumubula ung buhok mo." parang gusto kong manapak ng bading nung time na un. dahil sa may konting tubig na natira, ginamit un para matanggal ung bula sa buhok ko kahit papaano. dama ko pa rin ung lagkit ng buhok ko. wala ako nagawa, sabi ng bading, balik na lang daw ako para ulitin nya ung power massage. pasensya na daw. ngumiti lang ako at sinabing ok lang un. umuwi ako ng bahay. at pinagtawanan ako ng nanay ko. hay nako. mamaya babalik ako ng rhs. wish ko lang marami na silang tubig. =o)

plan of life

2005-05-09T17:56:00.000+08:00

this day, somebody asked me, are things doing well as you planned it? i can't say yes, but i simply smiled. he said he wanted to be a nurse/doctor but because he dreamed of a dying person in his arms bathing in his own blood, he stopped nursing. he told me his story, his soul-searching then finally finishing a course that drove his life to where he is now. i'd really love to be a painter, i would like to take fine arts but my parents didn't allow me. they said, i won't make money by that. taking up mechanical engineering wasn't my choice. it wasn't anyone's choice in my family. they actually didn't like me taking that course 'cause they said it's for guys only. so when they gave me a choice to shift course, i don't know where to shift and i don't like any other course. so i finished mechanical engineering. and i took the licensure examination and passed. this i planned when i decided to finish ME. but now, i miss drawing, i miss being artistic. well, i still go to gallery exhibits and oh, i am so jealous of those persons who have good artworks!

now, i am thinking, did i made the right plan of my life? how about you?

candy coated poison

2005-05-04T16:06:00.000+08:00

"i'm sorry..", this is only what blunted out my mouth. there's no such thing as candy coated poison, as my friend said. true. it never is sweet. i never knew this candy would cause a lot of pain, in evry part of my body. and his body. i can't find any dose of cure for both of us. the next thing i knew, both of us were dying...

graduation ko!!

2005-04-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

graduation namin kahapon, april 23, 2005 sa UP theater. ang saya!!! if you want to see the pictures, please try to visit,
http://maridann.blogs.friendster.com/photos/graduation_2005/

un lang po.

alone..

2005-04-21T14:54:00.000+08:00

badtrip. nandito ulit ako sa office. nag-out na ko kanina para i-meet ko ang mga friends ko sa prc (professional regulation commission). pagdating ko sa megamall, bigla kong naisipan tawagan ang isang friend ko para malaman ko kung saan kami magkikita-kita. nung makausap ko na sya, sinabi nyang magkakasama sila na nasa cavite. tinanong ko kung ano ginagawa nila dun, nag-aapply daw sa rohm, isang mechatronics company. nabadtrip ako kasi nag-halfday ako para pumunta kami sa prc. so, hindi na kami tuloy. nag-take-out na lang ako sa jollibee para sa lunch para naman hindi nasayang ang pagpunta ko don. so, nandito ulit ako sa office, MAG-ISA. kumakain ng lunch. (lunch pa ba? meryenda na di ba?)

kasi kanina, nung kakain na ako, bigla nag-alarm ung fire alarm. ibig sabihin kailangan namin lumabas ng building kasi may fire drill exercise, kaya ngayon ko pa lang kakainin ang jollibee meal ko. haaay...

at eto pa, pota, may mumu ata dito sa office. pagnakaupo ako dito sa pwesto ko, tahimik naman. pero pag tatayo na ako at pupunta ng pantry or cr, may naririnig akong ingay. parang click ng mouse at ingay ng keyboard. weird, pero totoo, may naririnig ako. kanina pa ako actually natatakot dito. kanina patay ung mga ilaw dito sa sales&marketing. pero dahil nga iba ang pakiramdam, binuksan ko ang ilaw. dumating si mam lea, mam tina, at sir arnold. nauna silang dumating sa mga nag-outing. tinanong ako ni mam lea kung may nakikipaglaro daw sakin. sabi ko, feeling ko meron. shet!!! wag naman sana may magpakita sakin dito or hawakan ako. uuwi talaga ako!!! napaniginipan ko kagabi, may lalakeng mumu na sumusunod sakin. ang mas nakakatakot pa nito, nakapula sya. horrible talaga!!!

ganito yata epekto kapag mag-isa ka. haaayyy.. sige na, baka nabobore ka na sa pagbabasa nitong blog ko. =o)

walang tao sa office

2005-04-21T12:18:00.000+08:00

haaayyyy... di ako kasama sa outing kaya nandito ako sa office, MAG-ISA. graduaation ko kasi sa april 23, saturday. mapamahiin kasi mga magulang ko. malapitin daw sa disgrasya ang taong gagraduate. kaasar. sana nasa beach or pool ako ngayon, nagsswimming kasama ng mga officemates ko. anyway, absent naman ako yesterday, kasi kinuha ko toga ko sa achool and pumunta akong prc to get my score nung board exam. 79.1. sayang, di pa naging 80. 70 ang passing. maghahalfday naman ako ngayon to go back to prc para maregister ko ung license ko. kulang kasi ung dala kong requirements kahapon kaya kailangan kong bumalik ngayon. i'll meet my friends there. gutom na nga ako e. di pa ko naglalunch. it's already 12:30pm. i have to go. bye!!! ;o)

pakialamero/pakialamera

2005-04-19T13:21:00.000+08:00

when should people tell you what you should do? do they have any rights of dictating you what's proper and what's not? di ba, we should be liable for anything that we do? so bakit dapat may nakikialam kung ano gagawin natin sa buhay natin or kahit man lang sa kung anong gagawin natin sa oras na to? dahil ba sila ang nagpalaki sa atin, or sila ang nagpapasweldo sa atin, or nagpapakain sa atin, or sila ang bumubuhay sa atin? oo nga pala, we are all in a chain of life and no man is an island. pero di ba there's such thing called "privacy". when should you fly, when you already have wings or when they have wings and they can take you to fly? dami ko tanong, naiinis lang kasi ako kung bakit ang daming taong nangingialam sa buhay ko. i don't think i'm such a nobody for people to dictate me things that i should do. it's so unfair. naalala ko tuloy ung kanta ng linkin park, "all i want to be, is be more like me, and be less like you"-numb. i may say di ako happy sa buhay ko ngayon. sorry kay Lord, pero i got my degree, i got my license, i got work, but then i don't have life. siguro di nyo ko maiintindihan, kailangan ko pa isulat dito talambuhay ko. pero sana may nakakarelate sa mga sinasabi ko. sigh...

ENGINEER NA AKO!!!!

2005-04-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

as of april 13, 2005, pumasa na ako sa board exam ng mechanical engineering. pagkatapos ng ilang hirap, puyat, pagod at iyak, pumasa na rin ako sa wakas together with my friends and classmates. university of the philippines, my school, got 100% passing rate. astig noh?!? kala ko di ako makakapasa dahil nagcram ako. nagkasakit pa ako while reviewing for the exam. buti na lang pumasa ako. kundi wala akong maihaharap na mukha sa opisina, sa kamag-anak, kaibigan at pamilya. i want to thank the people who are so supportive, those people who prayed for me and believed that i can pass the exam. basta sa lahat salamat. sarap ng feeling ngayon na engineer na ako, though hindi ito ang choice of career ko. gusto ko talaga maging artist/painter. i used to plan that i'll take a course in fine arts, but then it seems that my career has changed its path. ewan, bahala na. balak ko din kasi mag-enrol ng auto-cad (computer aided design). hinihinging requirements din kasi to sa mga engineers lalo na sa course ko kung ang inaapplyan ko ay design engineer. well, anyway, sana may magandang opportunity para sakin in the near future..

LEAVE..

2005-03-22T16:52:00.000+08:00

i'm on a three weeks leave for my refresher course for my ME board examination. ME is for mechanical engineering. wow, i didn't had time for this blog. i miss erwin, evie and larry. my folks in office. the "unprofessionals". well, i just hope they are doing fine and that they miss me too. i'll be back on april 11. though my sales did not hit the quota, i just hope that when i come back, i'll make them see what i can do!!! hahahahah!!!!

LEARN TO BE LONELY

2005-03-03T13:20:00.000+08:00

Child of the wilderness

Born into emptiness

Learn to be lonely

Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you

Comfort and care for you

Learn to be lonely

Learn to be your one companion

Ever dreamed out in the world

There were arms to hold you?

You’ve always known

Your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness

Child of the wilderness

Learn to be lonely

Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely

Life can be lived

Life can be loved

Alone.

this is the soundtrack of "phantom of the opera". just come to think of it, sometimes it is an advantage to be alone 'cause you don't have to care for anybody and that no one cares about you but yourself. k, gotta work now. i just want to share this lyrics.

2005-03-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

if it happened that you visit this site, please do try to see my works at www.scarletbeads.deviantart.com cause i need your comments.. thanks!!!

bullshit..

2005-02-23T17:37:00.000+08:00

if you know the word, that is what is happening to me now..

why does it always happen that when you feel that everything will fall into its place, something will happen unexpectedly? something that will ruin your entire plan. crap!!!!!

expect the worst.. but what if you tried everything to fulfill your plans? do you still need to expect the worst? what about being optimistic?

everything happens for a reason, they say.. yah right!!!! so why should i engage myself into something that i know will result into nothing? i did everything i can, but it seems it's not enough..

so irritating..........

HOLDING ON

2005-02-22T13:41:00.000+08:00

for the long time i've been crying
being so alone and so despaired
under the cold, dark, starless sky
naked...

you handed me the rope of hope
said you'll stay with me forever
i raised my chin and saw you
smiling...

the sky still did not change
but i'm not feeling cold anymore
'cause you are there with me
fighting...

please don't let the rope loose
this is only what i have
i'll always be with you
holding on...

P-A-I-N

2005-02-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

Paint this heart once again
After the splash of stain
In the dark night of vain
Never leave it unfinished then...